| What Happened |
[Nov. 17th, 2008|09:39 am] |
It's unusual to say that a weekend with Jim here was not good, but I'm not really sure there's any other way to put it. It started good, with a nice visit to my friends in Milwaukee, but on the way home we stopped to do some shopping in Lincoln Park (Chicago) and something very scary happened. The best way I've found to describe it is "a neurological situation". Jim thought I was having a stroke and so did I, but neither of us said the word. It started with me being unable to think of or speak the right word and in my head the word became very garbled and slowly nothing made sense. Jim was saying things that were perfectly sensical and though I could hear him, I couldn't understand. I was saying things and getting frustrated and panicky because to my ears, it sounded like I was garbling my own words, though Jim said I wasn't. He said I was making sense. It's the scariest thing I've ever felt.
We decided to go home and about 10 minutes toward the highway I lost the feeling in my fingers and my entire right hand began to feel numb and tingly. That's when we OnStar'ed the nearest hospital. But on the way there I started to feel better and the only thing I could think of was "This hospital will be out of my network". So I made him take me home to my local hospital, more than an hour away. I guess that was a mistake because by the time we got there I was feeling a lot better and all the doctor could do was look at me and shrug and say she didn't know. At an emergency room. A hospital. I guess that is supposed to be good enough. I was told to follow up today with my family doctor and possibly to see a neurologist.
The fun continues. I called the office of my family doctor this morning, and in typical fashion, they of course were first nearly impossible to get ahold of and then complete bitches. They told me they had nothing with Dr. Turk today or tomorrow. Nothing, in fact, until December 1. No, not even for an emergency. And no, not even for a neurological emergency. Must wait until December 1. Okay, so I asked for a recommendation on a neurologist. "Well...just someone on your insurance."
That's when I said thanks and hung up. I'm so sick of this. This is the second time I've cried after getting off the phone with his staff and every time I step foot in or out of that office I feel like an inconvenience. The only reason I have not left Dr. Turk is that it isn't him causing the problems. He's fanstastic, he's the first doctor in my life who has ever helped me and I think it's absolute bullshit that I would have to think about leaving that because of his shitty staff.
So then I called a neurologist that I found out of my grandfather's alzheimer's support group booklet. At least I know they can't be quacks if they are printed in a resource manual. So, better than the phone book. After the girl put me on hold and accidentally hung up on me and didn't apologize when I called back, I do have an appointment for 2:00 today.
God.
But you know who is amazing? Jim. There are no words. I love him so much. I just wish he could be here with me for this, but he himself gets no sick days (let's not get me started on that) so he had to go home so he could get paid for at least part of the day.
And that's what happened. |
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| Morgan's Night - You Can Help! |
[Sep. 18th, 2007|07:43 pm] |
Last month, I made this post about the benefit I am helping to plan for my cousin Morgan. It's coming up in only 11 days and so far we've sold almost 2500 raffle tickets and have gotten in about 40-50 donations of items for the silent auction, raffle, and tip boards. We set a goal of $10,000 and I'm so excited because I think we actually have a chance of making it.
And you know what? You can help. I have been wanting to make this post for weeks now but I've been putting it off because I feel so uncomfortable asking for help. But I realized, it's more uncomfortable to be Morgan right now. To be sick with cancer and heart disease and kidney failure, to go through 4 hour hospital treatments every single day that you know will not save your life, to be dying and leaving your two small kids behind, to be trying to make ends meet in the meantime and not knowing how you're going to pay your mortgage or keep food on the table or buy birthday presents for your one-year-old miracle baby who almost died herself, or how you're going to pay the lawyer that keeps your ex-husband from taking your son away, to push yourself beyond your own limits to work enough hours in a week to put together a paycheck just big enough to keep the electricity on. To know that your kids' futures are not secure because you're leaving them nothing.
It breaks my heart to watch this happening to her and not have the means to make it all better. I just want to fix it so that she doesn't have to worry about paying her bills in the months she has left. I don't want her forcing herself to work when she should be resting or spending time with her kids. I don't want her lying awake at night anymore.
She's been fighting for eight years, she's tired, and she needs help.
So, please. Please, if you have the means and the heart to help, please please please help me help her.
You can go here and make a donation. Every penny that you give will go directly into Morgan's bank account.
There aren't words to express how much I will appreciate anything you can do.
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